Pit Pat. Join Avenue is WEIRD

Alright, listen up! Players of Pokemon Black 2 and White 2! What's the most addictive feature in these games? Movies? NAH. Pokemon World Tournament? NOT AT ALL. No, you sad fools! It's Join Avenue!

Yeah, Join Avenue. Believe it or not, but it is!

See, the JA has stores that sell things that don't SUCK. Plus, the raffle stands are pretty sweet. I'm almost fooled that I can really get a Master Ball!

But it's freakin' weird. First off, when you first walk in the place. The boss is all like, "Hey, I'm busy! Wanna run a business?" Now, I'm no chump, so I said "NO." Really? What kinda guy trusts a kid with running his row of shops?

He wouldn't let me leave until I agreed, the freakin' numbnuts. There's probably something wrong with it anyway if he lets me run it. If not, I'll make it wrong. Just add eight shops with nothing but raffles, and BOOM! Outta business!

Next up, LOCATION. What would be the best location for a hotspot of stores? The Route 9 Mall is next to Opelucid, and the department stores of the world are in major cities. So where's your business take place?

ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME???

Yeah, I know Nimbasa is directly on the other side, but the main entrance is Route 4. Yeah, that explains why the boss was so quick to give you this trainwreck.

The next problem I got is "Pit pat." WHAT DOES THIS MEAN??? They already ask me for a title, a greeting, AND an excited sound! What the hell do these idiots mean by makin' up a phrase?

I also HATE all the customers. Here's some things they asked me for:

-"I want to go there... you know, THERE!" I thought this meant, "I want to go to the place with the highest ranking!" NOPE. It means, "Show me a shop with a male clerk." Ya know, the people who ask for women say that outright. WHY CAN'T YOU?

-"Is there a place where I can relax?" So I sent 'em to see Janus Fitness. Janus is cool. He's been with me from the beginning. Hey, what better way to relax than workin' out? NOPE. They want prissy flowers or food. JUST ASK ME OUTRIGHT! THERE'S ONLY EIGHT STORES!

-"Now, where do you think I should go?" Sent 'em to Janus. NOPE. Now they're bein' vague about the females! Okay, so why is this so hard to say, "I DON'T WANNA BUY NOTHIN', I'M JUST WINDOW SHOPPING!"? DON'T WASTE MY TIME!

-"I want to go to Janus Fitness." NOPE. They wanted to go to Jasper's Deli.

Freakin' tools, all of them!

Roxie came once, though. I gotta say, she's my kinda woman! She donated 1000 points to anywhere I sent her! Roxie's the one in my book!

Ya get rewards for reaching ranks. Assistants. THEY ALL SUCK. Especially Future. "Hey, let me tell you what would be a good shop to make!" He's no help at all! And what's the point of having both a PC and a guy to act as your PC? Or a nurse, really? NIMBASA IS RIGHT THERE! JUST GO HEAL! Or, if you don't wanna talk to Joy, deposit and withdraw your party.

One dumbass reward I got was, get this, CHANGING THE COLOR OF THE CEILING. The ceiling? Ya mean the one place in Pokemon YOU ALMOST NEVER SEE??? Come on! I know that the floor reflects the ceiling, but what's the point? You never get an option to change your hat, so why would anyone care about the floor?

I hate how it's time-exclusive. Really? Why is that needed? Why do customers only come once a day? That's STUPID.

I also hate when customers shop hop. You have to watch EVERY SINGLE INTERACTION. "Hey, nice shop!" "You like it? Check out Janus!" "I will!" "Welcome to Janus!" "As recommended, very nice!" "SHOP WENT UP 3 POINTS." Repeat over and over.

But Join Avenue is still a cool, addictive feature. Better'n the slots any day!

Next time we'll talk about what I wanna talk about. Don't like it? Read anyway, you might be surprised.