Great Unovian Melting Pokeball (Pokemon Not Native To Their Region)

Pikachu is a fascinating national phenomenon. I mean, within the Pokemon Universe, Pikachu has its own set of rules. Look at the facts:

-Kanto: Pikachu lives in the Viridian Forest and near the Power Plant.
-Johto: Pikachu is only found in Kanto-based settings, so Pikachu is accessible only post-game on Route 2.
-Hoenn: Safari Zone import.
-Sinnoh: Trophy Garden import.
-Unova: None.
-Kalos: Santalune Forest, Route 3.

Pikachu is only native to two known regions, both beginning with "Ka," which is meaningless. Although in Heart Gold and Soul Silver, Lt. Surge trades his French Pikachu with you, so this was likely foreshadowing or something.

The Kanto-native Pikachu has a sort of "dance" with the two other "P" Pokemon. Yep, Clefairy and Jigglypuff, (Pippi and Purin, respectively). This way!

-Kanto: All three native.
-Johto: None native; access in Kanto locations.
-Hoenn: Clefairy is not a native of the Pokedex (post in ORAS).
-Sinnoh: Jigglypuff is not a native of the Pokedex, can be found post (import).
-Unova: Pikachu is not a native of the Pokedex or region.
-Kalos: Clefairy is not a native of the Pokedex, can be found post (import).

Until Kalos, it was a perfect alignment. All, None, PiJi, PiCle, CleJi. Kalos throws it off, but hopefully the next region will balance it again. By the way, I chose these three because of Magical Pokemon Journey; plus they all have a semi-mascot status. Pikachu the top, Jigglypuff due to the external forces (anime and Smash Bros), and Clefairy the relic. Why these three? Why is it not that only Pikachu or only Clefairy has been a regional native? Probably a developer thing, I don't know.

So the main topic, Pokemon not native to their region. First, how odd that we never see any other Hitmonlee or Hitmonchan in Kanto. In fact, Tyrogue is only a gift from the same Dojo Master from Kanto. Hoenn has no Hitmon, although post-game in ORAS with the DexNav. Sinnoh might be the key, as Tyrogue are found post-game with the Radar. Or Unova; the first game has them in a swarm. Oh, the Friend Safari in X and Y!

But what is it with the Hitmons? They don't miss a region but they never have a home. Also, does it make sense that they hide so much? Listen to these entries.

BW: "It is famous for its eagerness to fight and always nurses injuries from challenging larger foes."
SS: "Even though it is small, it can't be ignored because it will slug any handy target without warning."

ORAS: "Tyrogue becomes stressed out if it does not get to train every day. When raising this Pokémon, the Trainer must establish and uphold various training methods."

These Pokemon are restless, instigators, and foolhardy. What sense does it make for Tyrogue and its ilk to hideout instead of rushing into battle headfirst? Nope, it's "Wiggle grass... wiggle grass... Bueller... Bueller..." I hope we see a Tyrogue-native region soon.

I don't know how much you can trust the Safari Zone. Did you know? Rhyhorn is not a native of Kanto or Hoenn. Both are found in their respective Safari Zones, and nowhere else. Cheap imports. Remember Gold and Silver? Rhyhorn is only found in Victory Road. Which is technically part of Kanto, ironically.

Finally, Sinnoh gave them a region to call their own. Oh, and Kalos has a RHYHORN RACER. Talk about publicity, huh? Meanwhile, Unova only allows Rhyhorn through White Forest or a trade with your Miley/Bieber popstar lover. What have we learned? Odd-numbered generations don't like Rhyhorn and try to make sure you don't get one easily.

Here's the thing, I don't really trust Kanto in general. 

Eevee? Gift. 

Porygon? Synthetic.

Fossils?

"Oh, sure! I'll accept this rare fossil from you for a few minutes and give you a revived Pokemon! Come back for it later!

...Okay, he's gone. Steve, get the Aerodactyl from the back room.

I don't care, any! He could be back at any time, and I need to rush over to Pewter Museum!

And make sure to fill out for a new shipment of Kabutos from Kabuto Island in the Zelpin region!

Oh, don't forget, we're meeting my parents at 6:30; they have a scheme they want to try, making trainers pay to have their Pokemon boink."

We know Kanto is overrun by crime, but maybe the crime here is the lack of culture. Think about it, how many are only gifts? By that, I mean all possible Kanto Pokemon given for free.

-Three starters, 9 family members

-Eevee, 4 family members

-Hitmons, 2 family members

-Fossils, 5 family members

That's 20 Pokemon right there.

In-game trade Farfetch'd "Ch'ding" (nickname for "Chandler Ding"?) is likely a native of sister region Johto. Lickitung also only appears through a trade. Oh and so does Porygon, a "trade" of gaming coins. What do we have, three more? 23? Hmm. Oh, Jynx. 24. Keep in mind, Japan!Blue has some Pokemon catchable. And Yellow. But what matters is the Red/Blue/FireRed/LeafGreen canon.

Sinnoh is notorious with this. Of the 107 Pokemon introduced, 29 are relatives of past generations, plus Regigigas, plus nine starters, plus two fossils. It's embarrassing.

That's why I like Unova. Many of the Pokemon have locations, nests and clear investment in the region. Not all, but there are zero relatives of the past, only two gifts, the nine starters (keep in mind, only X and Y have catchable starters), and the four fossils (discovery of fossils in a region does not mean the location of origin or nests). Unova has wonderful biodiversity, only trumped by Kalos. Although it has the Melting Pokeball aspect.

When only two years pass, the region floods with new Pokemon previously unseen. Why? Beats me. But it's better than Platinum. "Fire-type there, fire-type there, WATER WATER WATER." I think what a region needs to impress is culture, and that largely plays a part with its Pokemon.

Look at Kanto. We know NOTHING about its Pokemon of the past. Mewtwo is a clone, the birds are from Johto, Mew has a home in Emerald. With imports and whatnot, is Kanto really nothing more than a culturally void wasteland, where Pokemon need to be imported to impress? There's no tree-towns or bridges or three different dexes. No Gods or Demons or cultural traditions. In fact, by Gen II, the Lavender Tower, probably the most culture in the region, is turned into a radio tower. Genius.

It's soulless, and don't talk to me about "Oh, early on, they didn't know that Pokemon would go this far, so of course it's a dull region!" FireRed/LeafGreen made absolutely certain that the player's experience would be as identical as possible to the Red/Blue one. Know what that's called? Pandering. Like the Kanto region itself.

My theory is that Pikachu is their major export. To the Safari Zone in Hoenn, the Trophy Garden in Sinnoh, and to Santalune Forest to make it look like a"natural" habitat. But if they ever address the War Theory (Surge: "Pokemon saved me in the war!"), then I could end up eating my words. For now, I'll stick to the facts: There's 150 or less to see.

Evolution Oddities

How long has it been? Huh, not even a year since the last one. Evolution. Pokemon. Pokemon Evolution. Sometimes, as hard as it is to believe, evolution can be weird. Whether the upgrades are downgrades or the method makes no sense, evolution baffles the mind. So yeah, that's the topic.

A few guidelines. No Mega Evolutions. That's a different animal and I haven't play the Gen III sequels yet. No oddities based on stats or the meta game; I'm not part of that proponent. Component? Also, nothing mundane. This mostly means Bug types, but it also applies to over-discussed topics. Conversely, nothing about certain methods. I don't know why the Nidos evolve with a Moon Stone. Nobody understands the Nidos; they bypass any and all kinds of logic. Finally, if I didn't list yours and it fits the guidelines, leave a comment below.

First, my personal favorite, Golbat into Crobat. Crobat was the first cross-generation Pokemon to be listed in the Pokedex, even before Pichu. That's no small feat! How does it evolve? Like Blissey and the Baby Pokemon (and the new Eeveelutions, but not the same), it evolves through happiness.

Happiness. What do you think of when you think of happiness? Smiling, enjoyment, a grimacing bat.

Hmm.

Oh my.

Yeah, that was a lucid decision.These creatures have, like, nothing in common. The odd choice to invert the main palette is weird enough, but Crobat, after being happy enough to evolve, looks more pissed than ever. Its mouth is smaller too. Now how can a fang specialist get anything done?

Crobat best fits into the "if it were an animal, it would be screwed in the wild" category of odd evos. Another Pokemon that fits this category is Vigoroth into Slaking, since its ability leaves it more open to danger, although its increased strength probably prevents anything from killing it.

Aesthetically, two big downgrades are Graveller into Golem and Haunter into Gengar. In both cases, the Pokemon loses a huge battle tactic. Let's forget that most evolutions in the first generation looked either nothing or too close to their family members. Losing two arms is probably a huge blow to the Rock/Ground type, and I'm guessing a bit jarring. Although it's arguably not as bad as how Haunter feels about certain changes, according to an old Nintendo-approved Pokemon 4koma only released in Japan. Which I have!

Speaking of Golem and Gengar, how about trade evolutions? One theory states the reason for certain Pokemon evolving is because they want to impress you to the point of taking them back, as they feel abandoned. I'm not buying into that one too much. Okay, maybe Machoke and Kadabra could qualify, as they seem to have a superiority complex (given the brain /brawn). But when Pokemon evolve, they don't like YOU anymore. Why change who they are if they don't want you? But it is the most sound explanation, so maybe it just needs a bit of fine-tuning.

A big star in this category is Bellossom. You know the drill. They're shorter than Gloom, they don't have the Poison type, making them the only single-type to evolve from a dual-type. Frankly, I wonder why they exist. Smoochum to clarify "No, Jynx was always purple, ha ha!" Politoed, because a tadpole evolving into a tadpole with arms evolving into a bulkier tadpole with arms didn't make much sense. Tyrogue to tie the Hitmons together. Bellossom to... to... replicate nature?

My biggest gripe with Bellossom is her lack of the Poison type. I thought with the new game, she'd gain a Fairy type. "Finally, it all makes sense now!" It makes no sense now. We have multiple Fairy Pokemon with Grass-elements to them, and only two are Grass/Fairy, neither are Bellossom. So now she has leftover moves that she receives no STAB with. Okay, I know STAB because it spells "stab". Maybe a Mega would help the poor plant.

I always thought this one was strange simply for existing. Porygon, the scapegoat for the Electric Soldier seizure disaster, has an evolution, which ALSO has an evolution. Certain Pokemon seem to be distanced by the Pokemon Conglomerate, like Qwilfish and Stantler, neither of which has an evolution, mega, or new niche since their introduction. This is in comparison to Luvdisc, Delibird and Unown, who, despite the changin' world, never grow along. Luvdisc's possible evolution Alomamola, new Fairy typing or mega? Nothing. Delibird's new hidden ability? A duplicate. Unown using Fairy-type for Hidden Power? Fairy cannot be a Hidden Power. It's like they're being taunted.

Yet Porygon, who was blamed for so much panic, has evolved twice and grown. Maybe it's because it was never the issue, and that despite the calamity, Porygon is an amazing Pokemon, and those that start bad get left behind, no matter what fancy traits they may gain.

If there's one thing the developers haven't learned, it's that a good Pokemon evolution needs timelessness. Where to start? In Generation II, Eevee could evolve into two new forms based on the time of day. In Gen III, the day/night cycle was removed, making the only source of time-telling the clock in the bedroom. That was Ruby and Sapphire. In Fire Red and Leaf Green, you were screwed. Fortunately, the DS had an internal clock, so the cycle returned with multiple new Pokemon to take advantage. Happy end, yes? No. Heart Gold and Soul Silver, despite having a forest and a ice cavern to accommodate, did not include a Mossy or Icy Rock to let Eevee evolve into its new forms. This also affected Magneton and Nosepass. Since then, each game has an area to accommodate location evolution. And Sylveon can evolve just fine in the Gen III remakes. For now.

Other issues include Feebas, weird enough in its own right. Not only super hard to find, Gen III made Feebas evolve into Milotic through high beauty. The only Pokemon to evolve through contest stats, Gen IV included contests, to the annoyance of all. Gen V, mercifully, disbanded contests and gave it a scarf instead. Come the remakes, Feebas can now evolve in both ways. Once a spoiled Pokemon, always a spoiled Pokemon.

Generally, the developers have amazing ideas, but one non-idea showed that they were learning. In Gen V, season were introduced. What did it do? Change the scenery, certain very minor activities, open or close areas, and change the appearance of two Pokemon. When I heard about seasons, I thought they were going to play into an evolution, maybe an attack. Nope. After the Gen V sequels, the seasonal elements were removed, opting for an Autumnal area, a few snowy roads, a beach, and that's it. Testing the waters is smart; don't create a Pokemon around a possible feature. You can remove the feature, but not the Pokemon.

Sometimes, evolution can be pointless, like Rhydon into Rhyperior. #notallrhyperior Sometimes it's essential. Like, almost always. I think an evolution is better than mega because you get permanent security. But at the end of the day, it's not how big or strong your Pocket Monster is, but how you use it. So go ahead! Take out your Weedle and face against a Luxray with pride!

Hey, ever notice like, no one ever keeps Pocket Monsters in their pockets? I think everyone uses belts. It should be Beltmon.

Things That Seriously Need To Change

I love Pokemon Y. I do. But I feel like nothing really changed. There's a ton of features I wished for, yet have not received. Yeah, I love customization, large quantities of Pokemon, 3DS-appropriate graphics, diagonal movement, and sitting. But... some things are unfortunately still there. Here's my list of what really needs updating..

1. Removal of "deposit" and "withdraw" functions for the box.

When have you used this since "move Pokemon" was introduced? Yet these two relics remain, not only for no reason, but above the infinitely more useful move option. Why would I choose to deposit if I don't want to withdraw, maybe move some stuff? I personally like to hatch a group of eggs, but depositing a team to get eggs while passing the Daycare doesn't take up that much time with move (i.e., any time). Fine, make them available if you must. But put "move" at the top.

2. Special features that don't want to make the player throw the game against the wall.

You know. Remember spreading honey on trees to get that damn female Combee, only to get a Wurmple? Or going to White Forest days after beating the game, losing most of the available Pokemon because you didn't play fast enough, and now you have to wait until going back to America from your year abroad to get more people to occupy the place?

And how can we forget "Easy Mode" and "Challenge Mode" from the Gen V sequels? Yup, I really want to restart my game to play a slightly harder version of the game I just beat. No thank you.

Even X and Y aren't immune. No, I don't want to drop everything I'm doing for one hour of the day to get some Mega Stones. Just make them really expensive at the Stone Emporium. Even better, why not make the available for longer than an hour?

For all the hand-holding people complain about, like EXP Share's new function, to being handed free amazing Pokemon for no reason, I think there's too much of the opposite extreme. Make the bonus features actually usable.

3. Ledge Jumping.

Okay, Skiddo can ledge jump. That's cool. But it's in one area that has ZERO PURPOSE IN THE GAME. Okay, one purpose: Showing off the ledge-jumping ability. But why flaunt it if you can't use it apart from the Skiddo ranch? I get using Mamoswine to pass through thick snow, Rhyhorn to get through a rocky road, and Gogoat to... walk through town? Wouldn't be so cool to use your own Skiddo to jump over other ledges? That should be an overworld ability. And speaking of...

4. Cut HM01 from the game.

I hate this move. The Unova games made accessibility without constant HM use possible. Dropping boulders with Strength, limiting Surf's use, and previous HMs are now TMs.

Then there's Cut. I'd be fine if Cut worked properly. However, unlike the boulders than drop in holes, the trees remain there, no matter how many are cut. Why? Cut is the least useful damaging HM there is. Even past ones. At least Rock Smash lowers defense. Cut is a glorified Tackle.

Why not give players more options? Reward creativity. Let Pokemon use Steel or Fire moves to cut trees. Better yet, don't make trees reappear. Best of all, DON'T PUT IN TREES. They've been pretty much sidelined at this point, basically (pardon the pun) cutting off the player from items. But Cut is the first HM you get. What's the point? You already have Cut. It's another relic, like Deposit and Withdraw.

5. Bring back Johto remake features.

Yes, I've got a bit of bias regarding the Johto games. Gold was my favorite game, then Heart Gold! For good reason: Great features. HGSS also gave us some features with amazing potential. The Pokeathlon gives use to "useless" Pokemon, Kurt's balls are wonderful, the automatic running is great, and, oh yeah, POKEMON WHO WALK WITH YOU. HGSS spoiled us. With X and Y, there's no way you could travel around Kalos being tailed by a Wailord. Tight corners like the hedges would be... unworkable.

Even so, remember how certain Pokemon in Sinnoh could follow you, but only if they fit standards of beauty? That was dumb. But there's some logic. Probably not many people want Corsola walking with them, so you wouldn't have to do all Pokemon.

Leaving that aside, rollerskates are very much like the automatic running... but only outside. My B button is wonky when it comes to extended holding time, so automatic B would be a boon.

Okay, some of Kurt's balls are dumb. No use for Moon Ball. But Love Ball? Heavy Ball? Yes please! Ilove new balls, but none appear in Kalos. For shame.

And yes, being able to play with, pet, and interact with every single Pokemon with individual mechanics (love how Slugma can't be pet) is amazing. But I wish more could be done with it. I don't know.



That's all I got at the moment. Anything you wish they'd done in X and Y that they didn't? Leave a comment below! Or don't. Whatever. S'all good.

Pokemon X and Y Versus Black and White

I have returned. Huzzah! And I've played Pokemon X and Y. It's been out for over a month, but I beat it in a few days. Thoughts?

SPOILER SECTION, EVEN THOUGH IT'S BEEN A MONTH:

Well, they ranged from "Ehhhhhh..." to "OH MY GOD, THAT WAS AMAZING." I say Pokemon Y got me best on the emotional level. Something about actually being appreciated by the people of Kalos really makes it a great journey. And, of course, there's AZ.

But I feel that this game is a bit... anticlimactic. Yeah, there's the great payoff and all that, but so what? I had no trouble with the Elite Four. Every member of Flare? BOOM. Defeated. Gym Leaders? Well... okay, Clemont got me. That dang Emolga. But after that? BOOM. In fact, the most trouble I had at all in the game was the Inverse Battle trainer. Muscle memory, you know. Normal types are completely broken.

Let's look at Black and White. N, right? He had a full team. He had a nice, balanced team. Same thing with Ghetsis. Balanced, intimidating. Lysandre has too many Pokemon weak to Fairy types. And how many are those? Three. OUT OF FOUR. And I know that it's different because N and Ghetsis were the replacements of the Elite Four, but that's no excuse. They had balanced teams, even if three of Ghetsis's Pokemon are weak to Fighting. HE STILL HAS THREE TO FALL BACK ON.

Obviously, the graphics are better. But I never think graphics should overrule gameplay or story. I think that X and Y can be... laggy. Especially during a horde battle. Heck, even in Triples, it lags. I know that there's a lot to process, and I personally could never do it, but it feels unfinished.

POKEMON! Yes, let's talk about them. My new favorite is my Gogoat, Skillet. Not all of them are great, especially since there's a limited supply. To be honest, I actually prefer the designs of Unova to Kalos, and that includes Pokemon, humans, and the overall regional appearance. And imagine that beautiful Village Bridge music... brings a tear each time. OO EHH AHH...

I think the selection is better, sure. Having not only new starters, but Kanto starters too? That really brings in the old players, which the Unova games sort of... blocked off. I'll admit, it did seem a bit like an attempt to shy away older players. Yes, I know, a new region shouldn't exist solely on older Pokemon. But saving the fan-favorites for the end, or never? I don't know. The sequels fixed it, but it still felt limiting to me. X and Y don't have this problem at all. There are far more Pokemon available than any other region.

Whereas Black and White focused on changing the monotony of the games, like a female professor, improved storyline, and more connection to the characters, X and Y don't. They don't. Sycamore's a pleasant enough professor, and he actually battles you. The storyline is weaker because it isn't followed up on. And I can't feel too connected to many of the characters, especially since the rivals are so low-key and unimportant, the gym leaders don't get involved, the champion meets you only once, and AZ disappears. And what, may I ask, was the point of building up Alexa? She does nearly nothing.

But what X and Y lack in story, they make up for in actual battles. A new type, moves that have different typings or super-effectiveness, three new battle schemes (compared to Unova, which has a few times you can Triple or Rotation battle, and Double Wild Pokemon = Double Battle), more emotion between you and your Pokemon, experience changes, and a whole bevvy of game-changers? This is what Pokemon is about, keeping the player on their toes. Unlike games prior, it never felt like a chore to battle. Even in the Battle Maison or Chateau, there are rewards for battling, including immediate Battle Points, a lot of money, or a rise in rank. I got immersed in battle. That's what really matters in the end. Immersion. Black and White lack that. Even with Audino and EXP changes, it still felt like a chore to battle and grind. X and Y change the game, so there's all new strategy for old and new players.

Plus, Pokemon Amie is adorable. Really well-constructed and functionally brilliant. Unova titles don't connect you to your Pokemon, which the Johto sequels did. Give a reason to love your Pokemon, that's the key.

The winner in my opinion is X and Y. I like the aesthetics of Black and White, but the actual gameplay mechanics keep me coming back each time.

Five On One... In The Sky?

There was more news than I thought. A bunch of new Pokemon, and some styles of battle. First, the Pokemon.

As I expected (and many of you have too), Fletchling evolves into a Fire/Flying type. Now, this is pretty good news. The last Fire/Flying introduced was back in Gen II, so it's a welcome return for me. I know, it's terrible against Stealth Rock, but you gotta admit, they Charizard, Moltres, and Ho-Oh look pretty cool.

I have one problem, though. The name. People seem to like it, but I think it's as uncreative as Seel. Ready? "Talonflame". Literally two words to make one name. Not even a conjoined name like "Skuntank". That at least has something.

Another new Pokemon with an old typing not seen since Johto: Skrelp, which is Poison/Water. It looks like shriveled seaweed mixed with a seahorse. Points for creativity.

Less exciting is Clauncher, a Water crustacean. It's like a cross between Corphish and Kingler painted blue. Hope it becomes something less generic.

Vivillon's pre-evolutions were also introduced, the middle stage being Spewpa, and the basic stage something no man can pronounce in English. They are less fascinating than Vivillon.

Two more Pokemon with no current English names: A Fire/Normal lion, and a Fairy. Both are cute, but the fairy is disgustingly so. It's actually the lightest Pokemon in existence. No chance it'll evolve into a DEATH FAIRY? Fun fact: Not a real thing.

But let's get to the most interesting aspect: Two new modes of battle. Well, okay, one is for wild battles. Still, it's something. The first is sky battle. It seems a trainer can ask you if you want to have a sky battle, and if you say yes, any Flying type or Levitating Pokemon can battle each other in the sky.

Yeah, okay. I have a problem with this. I don't know the details fully, but isn't this a bit limiting? Furthermore, how is this type of battle actually different? Double, Triple, and Rotation battles have different strategies. From what I can tell, all Sky Battles do is whittle your team down.

However, it's too soon to tell, so let's go on with Horde Battles. I approve of the idea. Five wild Pokemon battling one of your Pokemon. I'm disappointed that this doesn't seem to be for trainer battle use, but it will certainly help with stuff like raising EXP.

But I'm sure you already knew all of that.

Fairy Type Pokemon Outed

Game Freak clapped its hands and brought Fairy type to life, folks! Yes, Sylveon is a Fairy type. But not only that! Other Pokemon have been in the proverbial closet about their real type for years! This includes Gardevoir (no big shock), Marill (a little surprised), and... Jigglypuff? I mean, I always thought Clefairy fit the bit. IT HAS FAIRY IN ITS NAME! But it probably will be later.

So they are now dual-typed Fairy Pokemon. Glad they're finally comfortable with themselves to admit it. It seems Game Freak forgot about history and said, "Ehhhhh... Jigglypuff is a dual-type, Mewtwo can change form! What else can we change?" But I'm actually excited to see what other new changes there are.

Speaking of changes, there's a new mechanic! Tired of using your Pokemon as objects? Why not play with them? Yes, it seems all Pokemon can be played with now face to face. THAT IS AMAZING. This also seems to support my theory that Spinda's dots will be no more. What, billions of different designs on a 3D model with tons of different facial features? Give those guys a break.

Oh, there's two new Pokemon. Ready for this? The left is Noivern. It's a Flying/Dragon. Um... yay? Flying is going up in the world, I guess? It's a scary looking bat, so that's a plus. The right is Vivillon, and UGH. It's a Bug/Flying butterfly. Really? Gosh, there's just not enough of those! Unova was so nice about not repeating unwelcome types like this. Why is Kalos?

Still, most of the news is excellent. Way to go, Pokemon!

Is Pokemon Art?

Lately, people have been asking if video games are art. I think so. However, is Pokemon?

Someone argued validly that Pokemon can't be art because it has no atmosphere. Which I guess is kind of true. Pokemon isn't well known for stunning visuals. In fact, Pokemon in the first generation is very bland when it comes to atmosphere. Every location looks practically the same. In fact, a lot of the locations are just cities.

Later games improved on this with quiet snowy areas, serene forests, threatening volcanic mountains, frightening haunted houses, gorgeous bridges, techno towns, and bustling cities. Islands are usually hit-and-miss, but there's something there.

Still, does it have atmosphere? Does atmosphere even qualify Pokemon as art, or anything? Well, I think X & Y might finally be onto something. There's diagonal movement, which means more exploration. In fact, the ways to explore have been changed. Instead of simple running and bicycling, we have rollerblading and Pokemon-riding. In fact, you can change your own character to better reflect you. It's too soon to tell, but from what I've seen, Pokemon might finally be nearing that atmosphere it so needed.

Actually, two games come to mind when discussing Pokemon as art. For me, at least. Pokemon in Gen V really tries to bring the beauty of the Pokemon world to the player. Zoom outs and ins are prominent while traveling, in order to let the player perceive the amount of detail that went into the game. For once, I actually don't spend my time flying everywhere. Sometimes, I just run around enjoying the scenery. In that sense, I think Pokemon really captures the meaning of art.

Before that, one game DOES capture the atmosphere it tries to portray: Pokemon Colosseum. It moves diagonally, so again, you can travel more. But it goes beyond that. The tone of the game is dark, and the loneliness of the scenery really captures that. So if there's one game that captures art, it's Colosseum.

But I don't feel that atmosphere alone says what is and isn't art. Choosing a Pokemon team is art. It shows what choices you make as a person, and the preferences of what you feel makes a good companion. Art is more than good looks. It's about personal connection, and Pokemon really manages to capture that, no matter how lousy people feel each passing game may be.

Well, this got kind of preachy. Hopefully next time will be an update on X & Y. Watch out for that Table Pokemon!

Probably No Light Type...

WE HAVE FOUR NEW POKEMON!

One of them, however, seems to disprove the existence of a Light typing. See the little yellow guy? He's Electric/Normal, and is the Generation Pokemon. As in generating electricity. No doubt light as well. I believe because of him, we won't be seeing a Light type at this point. Sure, it doesn't prove anything, but that guy's about as light as they come.

The others I'm in favor of. I love the Fighting panda, and the Grass Gogoat is kinda cool, especially since you can ride it. The robin... I see it as the odd one out in this image. I firmly feel that it's this region's national bird, like Pidgey or Pidove. The fact that it can learn Flame Charge does inspire some hope in me that its final form won't just be a boring Normal/Flying type again, like so many others.

The panda is adorable, but as I was talking about Spinda before, I can't help but feel that this panda is too close to what real pandas look like. Spinda is a clear exaggeration, but this guy... well, hopefully he'll evolve into something as cool as he is cute.

You can ride Gogoat. Which is why I've been calling it Gogoat. Aside from being its name, you can go on the goat, which I'm fascinated with. Can we expect more rideable Pokemon? I hear you can only ride on it in the main city, which is fine, but disappointing. Not much is known about the city, but as far as I can tell, it's involved with a marketplace.

More news: You can customize your trainer, giving them different skin and hair colors. This makes sense, especially given a previous image of the male trainer looking at a mirror. I welcome this feature, even if this is as far as it goes.

Back to the Electric/Normal Pokemon. So this might mean that Light isn't a type, but it's not conclusive. But if they wanted to make a Light type, this Pokemon would have been a great opportunity. They could still do it, but I don't think so. Besides, it's too much of a game-changer. Where were Arceus' Light plates? Would Flash becoming a Light type really change anything? For that matter, can you think of that many Light type moves to fight with?

Sound could still work. The fact that there's an ability protecting from Sound-based moves, not to mention the many Sound-based Pokemon like the Whismur family, Chatot, and Meloetta, all of which are at least part Normal type, means that Sound isn't too far off.

Next time, hopefully, we'll get more insight on X & Y. Maybe something bigger can be revealed.

3D Spinda

So Pokemon is going into 3D, huh? Well, that should be cool. Yep, very cool.

Spinda can't be the same.

I thought about it. Spinda has over 4 billion different spot patterns. More with shiny. So tell me that it'll be possible to fully incorporate that into the game. Tell me that.

It can't. Spinda was always able to be cheap. It didn't move for most of Generation III, but in Emerald, it just jumped a little, not turning its head. Same with the fourth generation.

In Gen V, it wobbled constantly. Even though full animation was possible, it didn't spin. That would be more effort. And in spin-offs, Spinda didn't have any spot differences.

So with Gen VI, having full 3D graphics would complicate things. Spinda would be a nuisance to animate. Especially because of this fact:

NO ONE CARES ABOUT SPINDA.

I'm sure someone would complain if they removed its identity by giving one general spot pattern, but who seriously uses Spinda? No, really, name me someone who uses Spinda. I will slap them.

So X & Y will have "well over 700 Pokemon". Whether that means we'll get a typical even-numbered generation amount or not (Johto has 100, while Sinnoh has 107, so this could be, like, 110) has yet to be seen. What I can tell you is that this will surely take a toll on the animators.

So would Spinda be worth it? Should they drop Spinda's gimmick? It's not even that good. I mean, certainly fascinating, but not even a little useful.

That having been said, 3D Pokemon is a bit... well, I think this series can't go on forever. Obviously not. A thousand Pokemon would be too complicated. Everytime someone who used to play Red and Blue asks, "How many Pokemon are there now?", I tell them. And they always go into shock.

Let's face it. Not all Pokemon are good. Spinda, naturally, being a prime example. Pure gimmick. So is it worth it to complicate an already complex game? Because it IS complicated. Unova alone had 649 Pokedex entries, plus more shadows and animations. Not to mention, animating the sleep effect. Can you imagine how hard it must be to work on Pokemon, especially the new games? It must be Hell on Earth.

Personally, I say it's time to make things easier for the programmers. They have to animate all sorts of new effects. It's gotta be tough.

By the way, I got speaking lessons. I don't use "ain't" anymore. Anyway, next time we'll talk about something else. Maybe the anime.

Mewtwo To You Too

So ya probably heard about this, if ya is a real Pokemon fan, born an' raised since the Nineties forced us ta be men, not pansies.

Mewtwo... got a... new form? Clone? Cousin? I ain't the one ta tell ya if it's what or not, but I AM gonna tell ya how I feel.

Since Kanto, the money generation, people have held the first 151 with high regard. Ya can't mess what ain't broke, they sez. None, I gotta say, more than Mewtwo. Ya mess with him, ya get Hell ta pay.

Now me, I ain't a stickler for that gen. I can adapt pretty well, since, as I said, I ain't a pansy.

But I'm startin' ta see a trend with these "announcements"...

Gen 6 Starters: "What will they evolve into? I hope Fennekin ain't a damn fightin' evo again!"
Gen 6 Legendaries: "What typings are they? Are they new typings?"
Gen 6 Eeveelution: "That ain't no particular Eevee typing ta me! What's its deal anyhow?"
Gen 6 Mewtwo: "Whazzat? A new form? A clone? Whatever Phione is ta Manaphy?"

See a trend? ALLA DEM IS TOO DANG SECRET!

Who's that Pokemon? I DON'T KNOW!!!!!!

I think they's tryin' ta build suspense for this gen. Last gen they couldn't do that, since it ain't a gen with real surprises.

No, really. It ain't. Black characters an' female professor an' a new continent an' TripleRotation battles ain't surprises.

Unknown Eeveelution typing? The suspense of Fennekin's fate? Mewtwo's future? It ain't clear. An' every time we got a question, they bring out an even harder one.

Me, I gotta say, it's brilliant. What marketin' ideas have done this so well? You get excited for the new game! Not even the title makes sense! Black 'n' White, it's easy ta guess that ideals are countering. But X an' Y? I ain't got a clue!

For now, just enjoy the ride that Pokemon is puttin' ya through. An' don't go on forums ta figger it out. It never works.

Next time we'll talk about what I wanna. I really hope it ain't somethin' dumb, like, "New Deoxys form!" Ugh.

Ninfia: The Ribbon Type Pokemon

So if you're me, ya already heard about Eevee's new frou-frou evolution. I ain't got no words for this beast except...

NEW POKEMON EVOLUTIONS CONFIRMED!

That's alright by me. Maybe it'll finally give us Luvdisc's reason to exist. Nah, probably it ain't gonna.

So this patootie is none other than Ninfia. I ain't got a clue, though, what type it is. Everyone's got a theory, lots of 'em are crackpot ideas.

Me? I think it's Normal. Others say Flying. An' others say "Magic", but I ain't gonna believe in a magic type.

I can tell ya what it AIN'T. Steel, Rock, an' Poison. Cross 'em off yer lists.

Speakin' of types, some folks believe Xerneas an' Yveltal are Light an' Sound.

I ain't gonna doubt it. I think it makes too much sense. If that's so, then maybe Ninfia CAN be Magic. But here's why I ain't think so:

1. Magic is just Psychic. It ain't nothing but that. Plus, Magic is also Ghost. Think about it, ain't ya?

2. Magic is too dang vague. Ya can make any Pokemon "Magic". Clefairy? Magic! Togepi? Magic! Pikachu? Hey, MAGIC. I ain't able to shoot thunder from my butt. I calls it like I sees it: Magic.

3. Magic ain't got any basis. Types like Fire an' Water mean they got the power of fire an' water. Psychics got power of mind. But Magic means that they can do anything. They can use ANY power. And that ain't fair. Even Normal types can't use some moves!

So I ain't trustin' Magic. Space, though, might be. After all, it got stars as an attack.

We'll see! But Gamefreak, this is a cruel prank on us! Leafeon is obviously a Grass Pokemon! Why can't Ninfia be obvious too?

Finally, evolution method. I say this: Eevees usually are more male than female. So why not make it evolve into Ninfia as a female only? I dunno, sounds legit.

That's all for today. Tune in next time, an' maybe Luvdisc will get an evolution.

Pokemon X and Y

I coulda sworn it was gonna be Pokemon Volcano Ruby an' Pokemon Ocean Sapphire! They even had items that ain't got no use in-game! But nope! It was all a joke!

Instead, we got somethin' better: Pokemon X an' Pokemon Y.

I ain't got a 3DS, but this is gonna make me get one. Hey, I got practically a year before I need it! I can geddit before October!

The best thing to do is analyze what we know so far. So I'm gonna start with the names. The freakin' names.

"X" an' "Y" don't make no good names for Pokemon games. The color scheme worked, an' I get why they'd drop it finally, but X an' Y are too generic to actually find with ease! Like "N".

Plus, it don't make much sense. Is it a math Pokemon game this time? I can say that Pokemon Black an' White ain't black an' white. See? 'Cause the game talks about conflictin' ideas. So why X an' Y?

LEGENDARIES, THAT'S WHY.

They ain't gave us no names yet, but don't they both look like Y? I gotta say, I'm glad to get rid of the Dragon legendaries. They was too much.

They also ain't the only Pokemon revealed. We also get the starters! AWESOME! So let's look at 'em!

Already failed! It's just Oshawott repackaged! I gotta say though, it's nice that the Grass starter ain't a frickin' reptile like every generation ever.

This got promise! It don't look like no Fighting type, nor a Journey to the West guy! I like him!

This I'm gonna get. I always got a soft spot for frogs, like the Poliwags an' Seismitoad. Plus, he's cute an' got ruffles! That's alright by me!

Then there's the graphics. Some don't like it. I do. I like it a lot. It's got promise for a new generation with possibilities.

Which is my problem with Pokemon X an' Y. Black an' White never stood a chance. We never got games that makes us care enough outside of the main line. Magnagate? Not even all of the Pokemon from Gen 5. Pokepark? Not interested.

It's also real soon. Not even five years go by an' this comes out? What a world!

But I'm excited for the games. Hopefully there's actually new mechanics or I'll just be the Peeved Professor. Next time I'll talk about what I wanna. You don't gotta tune in, but you miss out that way.

Religion in Pokemon?

The world of Pokemon is like our world, but freakier. In Unova, they made it MUCH MORE like our world. They got cars, movies, sports, and gay people. No, not Burgh. That hiker at the ferris wheel.

So I ask. I yell it, actually...

IS THERE RELIGION IN POKEMON?

I mean, I don't wanna upset the balance of the series with religion, but it seems likely. They never say "God", but Pokemon like Arceus implies it.

I'm not even gonna touch that "Capturing God in a Pokeball". I ain't that dumb.

It's gotta be hinted at, guys. Take that place in the corner of Hearthome.

THAT IS SO OBVIOUSLY A CHURCH. Not to mention, the people say nothing but religious-like sentences. Also, there's no music. It ain't got no purpose, neither. No one gives you anything useful there. SO WHY IS IT IN THE GAME???

"I like shorts! They're comfy and easy to wear!" - Red and Blue 3:16

Yeah, so I guess there's religion in Pokemon. I'll quit bein' a fan if they ever make Pokemon Protestant and Pokemon Catholic. (The third game would be Pokemon Mormon.)

But it's kinda weird ta think about. Do some people worship Arceus and others Mew? Is Mew Jesus and Arceus God? Would that make Mewtwo the Antichrist? Darkrai'd be the devil, I guess.

Why ain't there a human God? I mean, God ain't human, but if He was really God, He wouldn't be able to GET CAUGHT IN A POKEBALL. Dammit, I couldn't hold back.

Mew just seems to be the true Pokemon God to me. He has more attack-variety since he can learn any TM. Can Arceus? NO. WHAT KINDA GOD IS HE ANYWAY?

Okay, God can't eat, since that'd be silly. So maybe like Him, Arceus is limited in his infinite ways...? HELL IF I KNOW.

Next time we'll talk about what I'd like to talk about. It ain't gonna be about religion.

Space Type: The Final Frontier

Pokemon is running out of type possibilities. There, it's out there!

Last time Pokemon fixed the ol' typing chart was in good ol' Gold an' Silver! Back then, two types meant WORLDS of opportunities!

Now what, though? Think about it. Water has been paired with all of 'em but Fire. Flying's matched up with everything but Fighting. The other types are gonna be paired up sooner or later! You're gonna get screwed, Pokemon people!

So whatcha gonna do about it? Are ya gonna leave it until ya decided ta cancel the franchise?

OR YOU CAN COME UP WITH SOME NEW POKEMON TYPES.

Don't gimme that look. You know they should. What else could they do?

I want a Space type. I can list ya some good type combinations and the resulting Pokemon!

-Space/Rock: Meteor. Yeah, Solrock an' Lunatone, but that ain't never stopped 'em before!

-Space/Fire: Sun. Not Solrock, ya numbnuts! Where are all the sun-based Pokemon? NOT SUNFLORA. IT'S A SUNFLOWER. Name me a Fire-type Sun Pokemon. NOT VOLCARONA. It's like the sun, not literally.

-Space/Dark: BLACK HOLE. WHERE'S A BLACK HOLE POKEMON???

-Space/Ice: Pluto. Yeah, that's right.

Space/Dragon: A SPACE DRAGON. WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE?

I ain't gonna give 'em all to ya like that! I gotta give ya some trouble, Gamefreak!

There's other Pokemon type options, guys! How about Virtual? Porygon exists! So build on that with Virtual-type Pokemon!

"After creating Porygon, we realized the possibilities for new Pokemon were limitless. So we created an email Pokemon. Unfortunately, it evolved into Spamack, a Virtual/Dark type. Despite this error, we didn't give up. We created more Virtual Pokemon, such as Texatule, the Font Pokemon, which is much more impressive than Unown since they can be Tahoma or Arial, not just some stupid letter. We also created the Virtual/Psychic type Innernette, which know what we want by asking it."

Somethin' like that! I dunno how these would be in battle, but it's somethin' to go on! Besides, there's plenty of artificial Pokemon! Castform, Mewtwo, Genesect, maybe Ditto if ya read between the lines, the whole Porygon family...

An' Space type too! Come on! There's the Clefairy family, Elgyem an' Beheeyem, Solrock an' Lunatone, Deoxys, Jirachi, Giratina, Unown... Some of 'em aren't even from the same world!

So don't limit your choices to 17 Pokemon types! Expand! EXPAND! Enjoy!

Next time we'll talk about what I like to talk about, which isn't what you like reading about.

Catch All 144!

Okay, let's talk about this.

144 Pokemon? For real? What kind of Pokemon game in this day and age would do that? You have a world of Pokemon! In the Mystery Dungeon series, it's LITERALLY a world of Pokemon! So why limit the world to only 144 possibilities?

I mean, WHAT? 144 isn't even the amount of Pokemon they introduced into Unova! So did they leave out Unova Pokemon?

Uhhhhh, YEAH. And not just "hidden legendaries", neither! I mean, Keldeo is in the game, so what's the deal?

They left out of Unova:

-Purrloin and Liepard. Well, okay, ya could do a lot worse than that!

-The Pidove family. WHAT?! Hey, Unfezant rocks, people! Males, that is.

-Sawk and Throh. Whatever. They aren't missed or nothin'.

-Basculin. REALLY WON'T MISS 'EM.

-Darumaka and Darmanitan. HEY! FIRE TYPES ARE IMPORTANT, YA NUMBNUTS!

-Maractus. But ya can leave out most Grass types like this.

-Sigilyph. REALLY? REALLY? THAT AWESOME NOT-BIRD THING?

-The Solosis family. BUT THEY LEFT IN THE GOTHITA FAMILY? WHY?!

-The Vanillite family. DON'T EXCLUDE WHAT LITTLE ICE TYPES YA GOT!

-Deerling and Sawsbuck. Yeah, kinda pointless to have 'em if you don't even need seasons in the game.

-Karrablast and Escavalier. Also, Shelmet and Accelgor. I get it, the tradin' business is hard to pull off in this.

-Frillish and Jellicent. Ohhhhhh, I get it now. You left out 'em and Unfezant 'cause it's too hard to make gender differences. LAZY.

-Alomomola. Better'n Luvdisc, but I kinda geddit.

-Ferroseed and Ferrothorn. Are they even Pokemon?

-The Tynamo family. WHY? THEY'RE SO COOL!

-Elgyem and Beheeyem. I KNOW that they ain't Pokemon.

-Stunfisk. Meh.

-Bouffalant. Okay, is there somethin' about Pokemon that don't evolve? WHY?

-Heatmor and Durant. Okay, that's gotta be it. They didn't want Pokemon that don't evolve. They kept some in, but took a lot out. WHY???

-Pretty much any Pokemon you actually want.


SO WHY? Why the downgrade? Was it the new 3D effects? Was it too hard to make 'em all in 3D? Not enough room for programming? Yet ya can fit in 649 Pokemon usually! So why the upset of a game?

I don't care that there's only 5 starters. I don't. 'Cause at least they give you a choice. BUT THE LACK OF OPTIONS DOESN'T CONVINCE ME TO BUY THE GAME!

Actually, I don't even got a 3DS. This game sure ain't enough to make me wanna get one. Pokemon people, ya messed up big this time!

Next time we'll talk about what I wanna talk about. Tune in anyway.

Luvdisc, The Pokemon Troll

Who thought this was a good idea? Really, I know you heard it all before, but how is this Pokemon okay? Let's see why it sucks:

-Crap stats (Only good stat is SPEED???)

-Bland typing (Water. Freakin' great.)

-No evolution (I'll go into that.)

-Limited movepool (SUUUUUUUUUCKS.)

It's just the butt of every Pokemon joke. All you get from it is Heart Scales, but even now you can get them easier than findin' one of these jerks!

What's really cruel about its existence is Alomomola. Look at it!

That actually looks kinda cool! The perfect evolution for Luvdisc, right?

COME ON.

Gamefreak, why did you do this? Everything adds up! Same typing! Close designs! Perfect evolution choice! SO WHY DOESN'T LUVDISC EVOLVE INTO THIS???

That's why Luvdisc is the perfect troll Pokemon. Just when you think it'll stop sucking, it just sucks even more.

Next time we'll talk about what I wanna. Better tune in, or you'll miss out.

Pit Pat. Join Avenue is WEIRD

Alright, listen up! Players of Pokemon Black 2 and White 2! What's the most addictive feature in these games? Movies? NAH. Pokemon World Tournament? NOT AT ALL. No, you sad fools! It's Join Avenue!

Yeah, Join Avenue. Believe it or not, but it is!

See, the JA has stores that sell things that don't SUCK. Plus, the raffle stands are pretty sweet. I'm almost fooled that I can really get a Master Ball!

But it's freakin' weird. First off, when you first walk in the place. The boss is all like, "Hey, I'm busy! Wanna run a business?" Now, I'm no chump, so I said "NO." Really? What kinda guy trusts a kid with running his row of shops?

He wouldn't let me leave until I agreed, the freakin' numbnuts. There's probably something wrong with it anyway if he lets me run it. If not, I'll make it wrong. Just add eight shops with nothing but raffles, and BOOM! Outta business!

Next up, LOCATION. What would be the best location for a hotspot of stores? The Route 9 Mall is next to Opelucid, and the department stores of the world are in major cities. So where's your business take place?

ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME???

Yeah, I know Nimbasa is directly on the other side, but the main entrance is Route 4. Yeah, that explains why the boss was so quick to give you this trainwreck.

The next problem I got is "Pit pat." WHAT DOES THIS MEAN??? They already ask me for a title, a greeting, AND an excited sound! What the hell do these idiots mean by makin' up a phrase?

I also HATE all the customers. Here's some things they asked me for:

-"I want to go there... you know, THERE!" I thought this meant, "I want to go to the place with the highest ranking!" NOPE. It means, "Show me a shop with a male clerk." Ya know, the people who ask for women say that outright. WHY CAN'T YOU?

-"Is there a place where I can relax?" So I sent 'em to see Janus Fitness. Janus is cool. He's been with me from the beginning. Hey, what better way to relax than workin' out? NOPE. They want prissy flowers or food. JUST ASK ME OUTRIGHT! THERE'S ONLY EIGHT STORES!

-"Now, where do you think I should go?" Sent 'em to Janus. NOPE. Now they're bein' vague about the females! Okay, so why is this so hard to say, "I DON'T WANNA BUY NOTHIN', I'M JUST WINDOW SHOPPING!"? DON'T WASTE MY TIME!

-"I want to go to Janus Fitness." NOPE. They wanted to go to Jasper's Deli.

Freakin' tools, all of them!

Roxie came once, though. I gotta say, she's my kinda woman! She donated 1000 points to anywhere I sent her! Roxie's the one in my book!

Ya get rewards for reaching ranks. Assistants. THEY ALL SUCK. Especially Future. "Hey, let me tell you what would be a good shop to make!" He's no help at all! And what's the point of having both a PC and a guy to act as your PC? Or a nurse, really? NIMBASA IS RIGHT THERE! JUST GO HEAL! Or, if you don't wanna talk to Joy, deposit and withdraw your party.

One dumbass reward I got was, get this, CHANGING THE COLOR OF THE CEILING. The ceiling? Ya mean the one place in Pokemon YOU ALMOST NEVER SEE??? Come on! I know that the floor reflects the ceiling, but what's the point? You never get an option to change your hat, so why would anyone care about the floor?

I hate how it's time-exclusive. Really? Why is that needed? Why do customers only come once a day? That's STUPID.

I also hate when customers shop hop. You have to watch EVERY SINGLE INTERACTION. "Hey, nice shop!" "You like it? Check out Janus!" "I will!" "Welcome to Janus!" "As recommended, very nice!" "SHOP WENT UP 3 POINTS." Repeat over and over.

But Join Avenue is still a cool, addictive feature. Better'n the slots any day!

Next time we'll talk about what I wanna talk about. Don't like it? Read anyway, you might be surprised.

The First Generation, and Why Your Nostalgia is Stupid

Hey, remember Pokemon Red and Blue? If you're reading this, you probably do.

CRAP. THAT RHYMED.

Hey, those days of 150 Pokemon are long gone, and things just aren't the same. Wasn't it a lot better then?

NO. YOU'RE STUPID AND YOUR NOSTALGIA IS TOO.

That's you, buddy. Slow on the uptake. What, was the first gen so freakin' great that it could never be improved? BAH. NO. And anyway, it was always 151. MEW, PEOPLE.

So people, here's why complaining about "POKEMON JUST ISN'T GOOD SINCE THOSE DAYS!" is a dumb thing to say.

Okay, first off, "THE NEW POKEMON SUCK! GAMEFREAK AND/OR NINTENDO IS RUNNING OUT OF IDEAS!"

Sure, ice cream, garbage bags, those kinda suck for ideas. Pokemon were much more creative in Kanto, right?

WRONG. When I think "Pokemon", I always think of a half dozen eggs. Really? This this what you consider to be perfection? How about this?

Everyone freakin' loves mimes! Oh, hey, here's this!

Yep. Yep. Nothin' wrong with that.

What am I saying here? Get them Cornn Berries outta your ears! THE POKEMON OF YESTERYEAR SUCK TOO! So stop wishin' it was the old days, and maybe we won't get a toilet Pokemon! Like, Water/Ground typing. Maybe some Poison attacks.

You complain, "PSYCHIC TYPE SUCKS NOW!" Durrrrrrrr... I wonder why! Is it because it was impossible to beat back in that broken mess of a game? They couldn't even program their own rules right!

There were lots of bugs, and not the typing. Ghost was weak to Psychic? Nice job! Missingno.? Loved him, but beyond bad programming! Glitch City? Yeah, this was a top-notch game, folks.

You see, your nostalgia just sucks. So did those games. Hey, it was because of Red and Blue that I even began this love affair with Pokemon! But really, they were not the shining gem on a pile of hay. They were sufficient. Definitely a great game there, but it coulda used more time to work on.

Anyway, that's this rant. Next time we'll talk about whatever I feel like. You'll tune in 'cause you know you wanna.

Who I Am

Listen up, Pokemon trainers! I'm the freakin' Peeved Pokemon Professor! You like Pokemon? You like long, sometimes pissed off rants? I'm your guy! Read my blog, okay? What, you'd rather read that wimpy App Parasite or that manga guy who's slowly getting crazy? Nuts to you! Read my blog! We have Pokemon!